The Bystander Effect: Why You May Not Get Help When You Need It

Everybody waiting for somebody and nobody getting anything done.

On a WhatsApp group, my friend (Junior) said he needed someone to recharge his line urgently because his Bank’s App was not working. Immediately, another friend (Slim) responded that he was going to try; his network failed too. I saw both messages and just moved on because I expected that someone else would pick the tab.

It was almost ten minutes later that I remember the request said “urgent” and that nobody had sent the airtime. I ran back and asked if someone was on it; “not yet,” Junior replied. I did the recharge and moved on. It was much later that Slim pointed that what just happened was the Bystander effect.

The Bystander Effect

Situations like this are so common, especially in professional settings, that career and leadership coaches have lessons specifically targeted at this. A familiar context is this very popular scenario:

“Whose Job Is It, Anyway?”

This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody’s job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn’t do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have.

The Bystander Effect is a phenomenon where the more people there are in a place, the lesser the chances of anyone helping out. Because they expect that someone else would do it.

Verywellmind notes that “in a series of classic studies, researchers Bibb Latané and John Darley found that the amount of time it takes the participant to take action and seek help varies depending on how many other observers are in the room. In one experiment, subjects were placed in one of three treatment conditions: alone in a room, with two other participants, or with two confederates who pretended to be normal participants.'“

“As the participants sat filling out questionnaires, smoke began to fill the room. When participants were alone, 75% reported the smoke to the experimenters. In contrast, just 38% of participants in a room with two other people reported the smoke. In the final group, the two confederates in the experiment noted the smoke and then ignored it, which resulted in only 10% of the participants reporting the smoke.”

In places like Lagos, you will hear several cases of people being robbed in broad daylight and nobody doing anything to help them. While fear is a factor, it is usually because someone is waiting for others, and others are waiting for someone.

While we are not infallible and will occasionally fall into the bystander apathy trap, it is important to endeavour to have the self-awareness to take on the simple responsibility of simply checking if anyone is helping, before presuming someone will.

In workplaces, I understand that people tilt away from asking about projects that are not their direct responsibility but it would help —perhaps as a form of reminder or checking in— to ask if x thing has been done.

TEA

After last week’s NAN, I received an email from Ameenah, who reminded me that it has been a year since NAN started.

No. Don’t panic. We shipped publicly in February 2021 but I started sending out these emails to a small circle of friends in September 2020. Except for stopping during the #EndSARS protest and perhaps one other time for illness, I have delivered NAN every Monday for one year. This is the most consistent thing I have done in my life. And I say this as someone who values consistency over anything else.

I am sitting with a bottle of water which I shall now drink in celebration as I —out of my newly achieved consistency sage-hood— tell you that you can do it too. I have been sick, travelled across states, had to shoot videos and work on various projects; tet, every weekend, I make the time to write at least 500 words. Honestly, you should consider picking up a small activity and doing it consistently too. Perhaps the mental booty will get you to fix some other aspects of your living.

Importantly, remember to always start small. Don’t go for one year at once. Start with 1 week. 1 month. And keep going from there.

Tea plus:

Illustrations are BACCCCKKKK!!! Sef Adeola is shipping, as before. Please check Sef’s works out, ey.

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Be nice to other people, smile as much as you can, and live freely. Have a great week.